I. If you do not dress up because you think it's gay, then everyone is allowed to hit you in the nuts once during the duration of the Cup.
II. If you refuse to partake in an event you not only forfeit that event but will be penalized for the next. Such as more beer in you're cup than everyone else.
III. First person to mention armwrestling has to drink a pitcher of beer and then run around the shop. Hopefully you puke your guts out.
IV. Don't pass out until I say you can pass out. Just don't.
V. I'm running out of ideas. Just wanted to make sure the lame kids that are too cool for school get theirs...
So people that actually read this, what time will you be there saturday? I'm gonna start smoking a pork loin at noon and I'll probably be there before that to paint lines and shit. I was thinking a whiffle ball homerun derby would be fun? Comment below.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Sleeping Arrangements
My grand plan is for everyone to stay out at the farm. We have plenty of room for you to spread out your camp and that way you don’t need to find a way back into town. Pull down your trailer and make sure it’s still working for the state fair or set up a tent. There will be plenty to do after the Cup, if you’re still standing that is. And if I know you guys you’ll just be getting good and loose by the end of it. Geer’s going to be DJing well into the night. We’ll set up the dice box and keep the tippy cup tables up, so by no means is the end of the tourney the end of the party. In the morning I’ll mix together a couple pitchers of Bloody’s and whip up some eggs and bacon and send you booze hounds on your way. We’ve decided to allow women to show up later in the evening. THEY WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY EVENTS OF THE CLINTON CUP. None. A great man once said “women are for cheerleading and sexual favors” so we’ll go with that. So if you have a lady friend that wants to come out and howl at the moon with us that’s just fine. Anytime after 8 we’ll call it… That is all for today.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Golf Count
Alright bitches, it’s time to start getting a head count for golf. Wildwood would like some time to set up security to hold back the galleries that come out to watch our little spectacle. So if you know what you’re going to do, time to let me know. And don’t just tell me, I’m going to need something in the form of a comment below this entry or something. That way it’s easier for my accountant to make the appropriate tallies. What I’d like to see is:
Team Name: The Losing Team
Golfers: 4
Drinkers: 4
Then name yourselves
Try to make the golf because there will be points awarded per team member in attendance. Also bonus points for wearing knickers. Don’t know what those are? Google it. For those of you that don't want to spend $70 on knickers, just go to knickers.com and buy a pair of long socks, then cut a pair of shitty khakis 6 inches short and tuck them into the socks. BAM! Knickers! If you’re not sure about your team or you don’t know who you’re going to put on it but know you’ll have a full team, just say that. I’m basically just looking for a golf headcount so I can let them know. Travel will be provided so you can start exercising your liver for the evening's festivities.
Have you heard this? haha http://youtu.be/8LeZmHhPxuI
Have you heard this? haha http://youtu.be/8LeZmHhPxuI
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Contingency Plan
In the case of rain or any other circumstance that may arise during The Clinton Cup, we’re covered. I’ve been assured that if such events happen, our gracious neighbors from the north, the Mickelson’s, are willing to open up their shop to our motley crew. We’d still power through the needed outdoor events but would have some relief from the elements to catch our breath and buzzes. All of the “table race games” could be played inside but the runnin, tuggin and tossin will be done in the elements.
As for the golf, we may be fucked. I suppose we could always go to the Strike or Duck and hit their simulators? Which is about as cool as a bag of dicks sooooo... We may have to fire up The Clinton Cup early and figure something else out for the evening. Could just park our asses at the bars in Glenburn and burn that mother down!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tentative Schedule
12 PM - Golf at Wildwood.
4-5 PM - Arrive at the Olafson Farm. Set up tents, tap kegs, etc...
5-6 PM – Fire up the grill and get your grub on.
6-7 PM – Let your food settle, change into your costume and grab a good stretch to prepare yourself for the extravaganza.
7-10 PM – Clinton Cup begins. Complete pandemonium!
10-Whenever you can’t stand any longer. Just do whatever. We’ll start a fire, get out the dice cup and just get weird.
Clinton Cup Rules and Regulations
Tentative date: June 11, 2011
I've decided that we will work with teams of four. Each team will select a team name and theme. For instance; Pro-Wrestlers of the 80s, Cowboys (cuz i know you all have the gear), Indians, Rodeo Clowns, Women, Zombies etc... I want people to get creative, there will be points awarded to the best team costumes. Since this is going to involve large quantities of beer, these games will require kegs. Hopefully I can strike up a good deal with Judy at the Hoot and everyone can just pitch in. Not sure how much is going to be enough? We will error on the side of too much that is for sure.
Points
Points will be awarded after each event. If there are 8 teams, the first place team gets 8 pts, the second place team gets 7 pts, third gets 6 points and so on. Most points at the end of all events takes home the hardware. Like stated earlier there will be points awarded to best costume, so get with it. Because you know I'll be looking dead sexy!
Events
All events will be played single elimination tournament style.
1) Boat Race - Basically everyone lines up with beers, first person drinks his beer, sets it down, then the next person and so on down the line. Until the team drinks all four of their glasses.
2) Tippy Cup - a.k.a. Flip Cup, Tip Cup, Flippy Cup... blah blah blah you know what I'm talking about. Everybody lines up with a cup of beer, first person drinks his beer, sets on edge of table, flips cup over and then the next team member does the same thing until all four have finished. Two teams at a time.
3) Barrel Race - This event takes three people. One person standing on a barrel and the other two are supporting him from the ground. The person on the barrel with walk, logger style, on top of the barrel down to the cup of beer, all three drink a beer and return to the starting line without putting a foot on the ground. The other two are allowed to do anything to keep him off the ground other than carry him to the beer and back. This is a timed event. Never seen this before but I think I'm on to something...
4) Dizzy Slizzy - Relay game again. Run out to the baseball bat, turn around 7 times with your head on the bat, come back, drink your beer and the next person goes. Everyone competes. All teams will go at the same time, so this could be a mess... There will be three heats. No elimination bracket for this event.
5) Hitch Toss - Now I know you folks already do this in Glenburn so I thought I'd give you something you're familiar with. Each team member will compete. Each team member gets two throws and take the best one. Longest total team wins (hitch toss not cock size). We'll be playing on the Olafson driveway, so any hitch toss that doesn't stay on the gravel will score zero and count as a throw.
6) Tug of War - Everyone knows how to tug of war, so here's the twist!
Option #1 - All members will participate. Starting off there will be two team members on the ropes. The other two will be chugging beer, one person at a time. Once you've chugged your beer you may go help the team. Eventually both teams will be at full force and if you haven't already lost it's game on.
Option #2 - Everyone plays like normal except you're holding a cup of beer.
7) Lightning Round - This is final event and a time to really score some points. Each team members will set up as much beer as they think they can drink in 10 seconds. I'll provide 8 ounce cups that will be filled and drank. However many you drink in 10 secs is the number of points you can earn. So if your team of four can drink 8 a piece in 10 secs then you'll score 32 points!
Note: These are all a work in progress. Suggestions are welcomed and encouraged. Hit the comment box below.
I've decided that we will work with teams of four. Each team will select a team name and theme. For instance; Pro-Wrestlers of the 80s, Cowboys (cuz i know you all have the gear), Indians, Rodeo Clowns, Women, Zombies etc... I want people to get creative, there will be points awarded to the best team costumes. Since this is going to involve large quantities of beer, these games will require kegs. Hopefully I can strike up a good deal with Judy at the Hoot and everyone can just pitch in. Not sure how much is going to be enough? We will error on the side of too much that is for sure.
Points
Points will be awarded after each event. If there are 8 teams, the first place team gets 8 pts, the second place team gets 7 pts, third gets 6 points and so on. Most points at the end of all events takes home the hardware. Like stated earlier there will be points awarded to best costume, so get with it. Because you know I'll be looking dead sexy!
Events
All events will be played single elimination tournament style.
1) Boat Race - Basically everyone lines up with beers, first person drinks his beer, sets it down, then the next person and so on down the line. Until the team drinks all four of their glasses.
2) Tippy Cup - a.k.a. Flip Cup, Tip Cup, Flippy Cup... blah blah blah you know what I'm talking about. Everybody lines up with a cup of beer, first person drinks his beer, sets on edge of table, flips cup over and then the next team member does the same thing until all four have finished. Two teams at a time.
3) Barrel Race - This event takes three people. One person standing on a barrel and the other two are supporting him from the ground. The person on the barrel with walk, logger style, on top of the barrel down to the cup of beer, all three drink a beer and return to the starting line without putting a foot on the ground. The other two are allowed to do anything to keep him off the ground other than carry him to the beer and back. This is a timed event. Never seen this before but I think I'm on to something...
Kind of like this, except the barrel will be on it's side.
4) Dizzy Slizzy - Relay game again. Run out to the baseball bat, turn around 7 times with your head on the bat, come back, drink your beer and the next person goes. Everyone competes. All teams will go at the same time, so this could be a mess... There will be three heats. No elimination bracket for this event.
5) Hitch Toss - Now I know you folks already do this in Glenburn so I thought I'd give you something you're familiar with. Each team member will compete. Each team member gets two throws and take the best one. Longest total team wins (hitch toss not cock size). We'll be playing on the Olafson driveway, so any hitch toss that doesn't stay on the gravel will score zero and count as a throw.
6) Tug of War - Everyone knows how to tug of war, so here's the twist!
Option #1 - All members will participate. Starting off there will be two team members on the ropes. The other two will be chugging beer, one person at a time. Once you've chugged your beer you may go help the team. Eventually both teams will be at full force and if you haven't already lost it's game on.
Option #2 - Everyone plays like normal except you're holding a cup of beer.
Would like to see a team of the women of Friends...
7) Lightning Round - This is final event and a time to really score some points. Each team members will set up as much beer as they think they can drink in 10 seconds. I'll provide 8 ounce cups that will be filled and drank. However many you drink in 10 secs is the number of points you can earn. So if your team of four can drink 8 a piece in 10 secs then you'll score 32 points!
Note: These are all a work in progress. Suggestions are welcomed and encouraged. Hit the comment box below.
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